The Last Entry Before the Next
I’m off tomorrow afternoon to spend a few days on the beach and the golf course with my family. Thank God. I won’t be thinking of sex. Rather, I’ll grip my shaft firmly in my paws, tuck my balls into my shorts and venture forth to fill a few dozen holes in as few strokes as possible.
It’s been barely a month since I began this project yet it feels like ages. I have learned a lot about myself; for instance, that I have a sharp philosophical disagreement with some of my fellow naked loft party attendees. I am not out on some quest to collect notches in my belt and somehow prove myself. Nor am I in it to win some kind of popularity contest. Nor am I trying to fuck as many people as possible. Nor, finally, am I out to simply procure genital pleasure for myself. This is all too mercenary. To me, the authenticity of the connection matters far more, and this probably explains why our experience with individuals and small groups has been infinitely more satisfying.
Saturday sort of brought things to head for me. After idling at the SKIN party for a couple of hours, we let a few people we know drag us to this after hours event in our neighborhood, which was predictably lame and under-attended. We had lobbied unsuccessfully for a more intimate gathering at our place. The Cock and Schoolgirl were there, along with Jim and Kathy, and perhaps the large empty space contributed to the distance between us, but I couldn’t help but feel that, curiosity satisfied, they are off to find new sources of amusement. By contrast, Anya, Cindy and a few other people we have met over the past few weeks have shown some genuine interest in us. The lines have been drawn; time to separate the wheat from the chaff, etc. We’ll stick with those most like us, and let the rest wallow in their solipsism.
As I wrote to someone this afternoon, ”[Y]ou have to decide whether … you genuinely desire some good to come to us or whether your approach is more mercenary than that. The latter is fine for some people, and I wouldn’t judge you for that, but the former is what makes the difference, for us, between the person we play with once and the person we want to share our bed with on an ongoing basis.”
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