Ringing True, Ringing False
I’ll start with some advice to all the ladies out there in swinger couples. Take care of your man. Communicate, damn it. Too often I have seen men frustrated and sulking in the corner as their women lose themselves in flirtation and play with everything in sight. If you have decided you only want play as a couple, then stick to that plan and let other people know up front. I am not a clairvoyant. For all I know, your man simply gets off on watching you with others. And, to the men, if you want to play with someone’s girl then show the lady some genuine affection. If you’ve exchanged nary a word with her, don’t expect her to jump at the opportunity to latch onto your throbbing manhood. Dust off those old dating skills and bring some charm to bear. Personality, as they say, goes a long way. But don’t rely on your woman to do all the work. That way lies inevitable frustration and disaster.
I’m glad someone else out there seems to understand sex parties the way I do. Sex-Geek writes: “We came home around three in the morning, entirely and completely sated with sex. Dazed from it, really. Flabbergasted by it. Stuffed full of it. I just love that feeling of connection I get from a good sex party, the feeling of being part of the human tribe rather than a separate piece of it. You can’t be stuck on yourself too much in the middle of a sex party. You can’t be trying to prove anything, or shore up insecurities. It’s too late for that once you get there. You have to just be naked and let what happens happen.”
An obviously confused reader writes: “I am a ‘generously proportioned’ male (375 pounds) with a less than generous penile length (4 inches erect). I seek a vendor of quality inflatable sheep who can give away free samples as I am unemployed.” Not sure I can help you with that one, bud.
Charles Taylor over at Salon (click on the button for a free day pass) thinks men who watch lesbian porn hate themselves: “It makes no sense to argue that men can glory in their raging manhood in scenes where penises can be so easily replaced by digits or fingers or tongues. And in a way, I think that disposability is the key to why men love lesbian scenes, which has more to do with male self-loathing than male self-glorification.” Wow. All along I thought it had to do with getting off on watching hot girls lick pussy, or better yet, use anal beads on each other. Silly me. According to Taylor, it’s a cultural conspiracy that heterosexual men don’t eroticize other men’s bodies.
Continuing in that vein, a big fan of mine writes in his blog: “However, this one I think is pure fiction because the guy talks constantly about all of the sex parties and group sex events he attends but it is always two guys two gals, or one guy and two gals, or even two gals, but never two guys and one gal or two guys. I find that to be totally unrealistic and therefore I think it is fake. If it isn’t then I really feel sorry for the guy because he has reduced sex to the level of washing your car. He would even give masturbation a bad name.” By way of background, this guy is a closeted bisexual (or possibly homosexual) trapped in a sexually unfulfilling marriage. Like the honorable Mr. Taylor, this man believes it is unrealistic that I don’t feel the urge to have another guy’s peepee in my mouth or up my pooper. Well, for the record, I have yet to see man-on-man action at any of these parties, and quite honestly there’s a double standard among many swingers where female action is acceptable and male action isn’t. Female bisexuality is prevalent, but I also know a decent number of female swingers who don’t eat pussy. And, even if there weren’t such a double-standard in place, these parties are attended by couples and single females only, a situation which lends itself to the types of scenarios I’ve written about.
I find it interesting that some people doubt the veracity of my accounts. I suspect if Leslie were the primary author of this blog these doubts wouldn’t even arise. If sex for me is like washing my car, well, imagine if everyone could take so much delight in doing their chores. And if masturbating to gay internet porn is the best you can do then you have only yourself to blame. Don’t hate the player, son, hate the game.
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W. S. Cross | Jul 13, 10:44 AM | #
I will play the contrarian.If Leslie were the author, it would still call into question what is being written. I knew the editor of “Letters to Penthouse” back in the 80s, and the letters were largely faked (and written mostly by men). So anyone over the age of 16 is skeptical. Plus, we’re awash in sex writing and imagery that passes for “real.” The photos on the right-hand part of your blog, for example, are so much like all the conventional “amateur” porn imagery that’s peddled all over the place, usually for a fee.
It doesn’t mean it’s not real, it’s just that after awhile, it gets harder and harder to figure what’s real and what’s fake.
You may be a victim of your own success in bed. If I were to tell you I made $15 million playing on-line poker, you’d probably scoff and say I was lying. “It might be true,” you’d say, “but I doubt it.” That’s a healthy skepticism, in my opinion, but there’s probably some Internet poker player out there saying “ouch, you’re hurting my feelings.”
The same for a stream of great sex experiences: it just doesn’t ring “true” to the average slob trying to get some. We all wish we were you, all envy you, but don’t believe it REALLY is that easy.
I hope you understand I’m not faulting you or your blog. I find your accounts very readable and very enjoyable, and it’s why I reviewed you on my site. But the skepticism you’re encountering is natural, and perhaps even healthy, since the purveyors of Internet porn are counting on the gullible and pathetic to enrich them.
“If you want to eat with the classes, then you have to titillate the masses,” to twist a common phrase.
And on a historical note, female bisexuality has been accepted among swingers at least since the era my novel takes place in (mid-70s), while male bisexuality is too close to gayness for most men to be comfortable with. That and the fact that many men see bi-fem activity as just another form of foreplay before the Main Event.