A Sex-Blogger’s Manifesto
If I don’t drive around the park,
I’m pretty sure to make my mark.
If I’m in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I’ll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.Dorothy Parker
Brane-world cosmology posits that the three-dimensional world we inhabit is a subspace of a higher-dimensional universe, and that our 3-brane may be one among many that occupy the void, unseen but right there, separated from us by a millimetric jaunt along some invisible axis. Like the mariners of old who gazed upon the sea and saw a flat planet, we have no way of seeing things as they actually are. So it is with blogging: the blogger creates his own brane-world. Looking at things from this constrained perspective, the reader will never comprehend the author’s universe.
Sex-blogging is tricky because it provokes such a visceral response. It doesn’t help that the internet is a giant affirmative action program for idiots, and the minute you post something you must bear the slings and arrows of a million monkeys drooling over a million keyboards. In my short time in the land of sex-blogs, I’ve seen plenty of bloggers remove material, hide away in private communities, lament being discovered by people they know, or pack it in altogether. Maybe their readers haven’t gotten the memo. Me, well, I don’t give a damn. Offending people’s overdelicate sensibilities comes with the territory.
I could bow to blogging mediocrity and flesh out my cosmos by writing a stream-of-consciousness narrative detailing every random thought had, every piss taken and every sandwich eaten. I could go on about everything under the sun, but that would be missing the point. Good writing is editing; it is leaving some things out so that we may see other things clearly. The aspects of my life that I choose to omit are no less real than those I choose to write about. But this is the subspace I have created—my experiment in sex-writing. Not Superstring Theory, nor Trite Observations No One Cares About, but the Naked Loft Party. You are sitting around the cathode-ray campfire and I am telling dirty stories. You dig?
I’ll leave you with the following little gem, randomly unearthed at JoJo’s:
As newbies learn about the internet they find weblogs, forums, and websites about their interests and hobbies, they bookmark these, and for them that becomes the internet. They spend most of their time on the internet in this small … special interest niche and from their point of view that becomes what the whole world is thinking about all the time. Whether it’s movies, auctions, or slashdot news for nerds, participants soon forget that the whole world doesn’t really give a damn. Except for us. Sex sites. Sex weblogs. Sex forums. The whole fucking rest of the world really is interested in sex.
Comments Off | Top ↑
