Sensually Transmitted Disease: A PSA
Condoms do nothing to protect against this affliction. It’s responsible for billions of dollars in lost productivity every year. The disease rarely kills but at times you’ll wish you were dead. There is no cure.
I’m not proud to admit it but I too am a victim.
I’m talking about the common cold.
I’ve been asking myself all day (between trips to the bathroom to blow my nose) why, oh why, did Les and I have to kiss all those girls? I mean, we knew there were risks but we never thought the common cold could happen to us. We thought we were invincible.
We were wrong.
You may think you won’t get this disease from the nice, normal people you know, but there are millions of potential carriers: crack addicts, professionals, your best friends, even your mom.
So before you lock lips have the talk. Is your partner running a fever? Does she have that telltale tickle at the back of her throat? Has she been taking her vitamins?
Don’t end up like me, a sweating, aching, quivering mass of flesh. Be informed. Protect yourself. And save your sick days for those killer hangovers instead.
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gaijin | Jan 12, 02:12 AM | #
bro, get thee some emergen-c® or airborneâ„¢ and never travel or play with multiple friends without ‘em. i usually get a cold when i start to “date” someone, when our immune systems clash. or something like that.Suze | Jan 12, 05:55 AM | #
Lex, the positive spin on this is that you hopefully get Les to play nurse. ;)dick cheney | Jan 12, 06:22 PM | #
waaaaa i got a sniffle from screwing tons of hot girls waaaa!I’ll trade my blue balls for your cold anyday.
Leslie | Jan 12, 07:54 PM | #
Hey, I had the cold first. I get no sympathy?ME over here, yo! | Jan 13, 01:04 PM | #
I concur w/gaijin: Airborne…ALWAYS! and right away…don’t wait for that sniffle to start, take the Airborne at first sign of ‘your symptom’. Everybody’s got ‘their own personal symptom’...you know…the one where you say to yourself ‘shit…I’m gonna get a cold…’ I never have to say that again (unless I’m a dumbass and forget to take the Airborne!) 4 years and counting w/o afflication of der rhinoviruswm | Jan 18, 02:17 PM | #
I fear the only thing one can do in the future is having cybersex. At least if you want to avoid nasty surprises afterwards :XGenghis | Jan 22, 04:28 PM | #
Hey – my comment about how you can get herpes or HPV pretty easily even if you wear a condom got deleted. Must be because I mentioned how much herpes hurts women. and how it can be shed asymptomatically from cold sores. And how HPV causes cancer in women.Thats cool though. We wouldnt want reality getting in the way of your fun.
Sorry ;-)
Lex | Jan 22, 06:16 PM | #
I didn’t delete your comment, numbnuts. You probably hit the preview button a second time instead of the submit button.