Swingeritaville

Posted by Lex Konrad in Dispatches | Jan 18, 2006

A wise Frenchman once said hell is other people. On nights like this I’m inclined to agree.

The annoying guy puts his arm around my shoulder, “Dude, our girls are so great! We wouldn’t be doing this right now without them.”

Well, no shit “dude.” And this might even be fun if you’d shut up for a moment and let me watch your pretty girlfriend bounce around in her underwear.

“Just look at them together; they’re so great.”

We’ve got a narrator on our hands here. The narrator has this pathological need to keep a running commentary on the proceedings, as if this is Monday Night Football. As if this ain’t happening unless he says it’s happening. Get a fucking blog already.

I can’t believe I dragged the other, perfectly nice couple into this. The male half kinda rolls his eyes at me; the female half sits in his lap, reprising her role as the deer in the headlights. Being new to this is part of her charm, I think.

Welcome to my world, babe. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

“Wait, where’s she going?”

Your girlfriend’s obviously had a bit too much to drink, dude. Perhaps plying her with, like, Long Island Ice Teas all night wasn’t such a hot idea.

The other girls saunter into the bedroom to check on the annoying guy’s girlfriend.

“Where’d they go? Hey let’s go watch!”

Does the phrase let that shit marinate mean anything to you? Anything?

But of course he barges in over the other guy’s objections. At this point we’re all so skeeved we decide to vacate the premises. Before we leave the little drunk girl gives Les her number. “Call me, and um don’t worry… you don’t have to talk to my boyfriend.”

It’s not like we were planning on it.

More: Swingers | Sex Party | Exhibitionism

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