Blog & Order
“You are the only ones standing between civilization and anarchy,” quipped the clerk. The 150-or-so Manhattan residents crammed into the courthouse auditorium laughed. Who knew jury duty could be so darned funny?
Our bleak, windowless holding pen smelled like public school: musty and familiar. It contained what I imagined must have been a cross-section of Manhattan’s non-immigrant population, who were, to my surprise, a rather ordinary looking group of people. After scrutinizing the audience I made the following notation in my logbook: Ratio of hot babes to average lookers – 1:10. This is why I would make a good juror; I always zero-in on the pertinent facts.
Then came my brush with blogebrity. You see, the clerk had an annoying habit of remarking upon people’s professions as they handed in their paperwork (for whatever reason there were an assload of lawyers and cops among the potential jurors). When my turn came—I’d simply marked down “Self Employed”—he said, “Oh, you have the best boss in the world.”
“Little do you know,” was my rejoinder.
When I returned to my seat I spied a man standing in line wearing obligatory hipster uniform #3—the one that says I blew $500 on these clothes and spent an hour picking them out but I want it to look like I raided some teenager’s closet. (Actually, this may have been a good wardrobe choice considering jury duty has that distinctive air of high school detention about it.) After the hipster handed in his form the clerk, of course, commented upon the man’s profession. My synapses fired. “I bet that’s so-and-so,” I muttered under my breath. And, sure enough, when a bunch of people were called up for service two hours later he answered to the name.
The rest of my day was uneventful. The powers that be gave the remaining juror pool an hour-and-a-half for lunch, after which we returned to the jury selection room and napped like preschoolers (snoring preschoolers, that is) until we were finally let go at 3:30 PM. No one else was called to service. Apparently the wheel of justice really does turn slowly.
Will any legal professional in his or her right mind put Lex Konrad on a jury? Stay tuned…
NB: I’ve intentionally left out certain details. And, obviously, if I am assigned to a case I won’t be able to offer any commentary.
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Leslie | Apr 18, 08:13 AM | #
Everybody loves to complain about getting jury duty. But once there it’s an experience you can’t believe. I remember feeling such pride to be a part of it all. And you can tell that most of the employees in the court room are really dedicated too.
We can compain about the system too, but I think that taking jury duty seriously is one way we can play an important role in making it better rather than just sit back and pout. I’d like to think that makes some difference.