Program Notes

Posted by Lex Konrad in Meta | Jun 23, 2008

There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

-Pink Floyd, “High Hopes”

“It’s been a while since you posted anything.”

I get this comment from friends, from acquaintances, even from complete strangers

It’s annoying. But I understand. My archives, however, are a gold mine. Tonight I read this entry and I LOL’ed. And my wife’s blog is brilliant.

I’ve been coding until dawn. I’ve been writing. I’ve been working. All with the brutal focus one can only achieve by neglecting friends, lovers, enemies and blogs. My inbox was overrun with spam, so if I missed some important message I do apologize.

Have you ever committed yourself to something so completely that it becomes your only reality, and everything else becomes, in comparison, a sort of shadow life? Flow requires a certain purity. It is difficult to put into words.

It’s like I went to sleep six months ago and woke up in this science fiction scenario. A black man is on the verge of becoming president of these United States. The world is on the brink of the apocalypse. Sounds like fun. Sorry I missed it.

I’ve been insufferable. A pain to live with. Just ask my wife.

I’ve been monogamous.

I nearly lost my mind.

At 10AM last Friday I was ready to throw out sixteen hours of work. “Fuck it,” I said to my bleary-eyed self, “I’m gonna reboot this motherfucker.”

It all suddenly worked. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I slept until 6PM. I showered. I shaved. I put on some nice clothes. I went out.

And I kissed another girl for the first time since December.

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