Money Shot

Money Shot

Safer sex

What is the difference between art and porn? Is it money? Is it lighting? Is it intent? Is it the presence (or absence) of an erection, or semen? Is it a government grant?

In matters of human sexuality I think we’re asking all the wrong questions.

What do you think?

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Met Art

Standard Practice

The ass

The ass

The kiss

The kiss

Just to let you know, that sort of behavior is actually the norm. It’s standard practice. You’ll be offered drugs, y’know? You’ll have threesomes, dinners, y’know? You’ll end up going into town in a taxi, have a couple of drugs, have dinner, have a threesome, go home again, have a shower, go out again… more drugs, more threesomes. Happens all the time.

-Murray Hewitt (from Flight of the Conchords)

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Scene from a Marriage

Penetration

Penetration

Most wives would kill their husbands for doing something like this. Mine takes pictures.

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Sexy Field Trip

Breast licking

Montreal, 2007

The obvious downside to having a bisexual wife is that she’s always poaching your girls.

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Abby Winters

Leave home without it

NLP on the go

NLP on the go

In a fit of drunken stupidity, I hit the Apple Store at about 4am last Saturday. The results were entirely predictable. A word to the wise: if you’re going to carouse in a town where one can purchase expensive electronics after midnight, leave your credit card at home.

UPDATE: Everyone’s been asking me for my verdict. I’ve had the iPhone for almost a week now and I’m quite pleased with it. The device feels sturdy in my hand and slides into my pocket in such a way that I can grind against a chick from behind without inadvertently poking her in the ass. Call quality is merely average but I haven’t had any problems using the speakers or the headset in noisy environments. The microphone attached to the headphones works well and the inline pause button is a sweet touch. The bright, high-resolution display is gorgeous; it looks more like a plasma screen than an LCD.

The real killer app for me is the browser — when I’m out on the town I can quickly pull up Naked Loft Party — and I’ve found AT&T’s EDGE network acceptably fast here in NYC (I’ve been averaging around 170 kbps). Email, text messaging and Google Maps are also a joy to use. I was pleasantly surprised by the keyboard’s auto-correction feature; I’m already typing as fast as I did on my old Crackberry. The calendar is so slick that I haven’t bothered synching with Outlook — I’d rather just enter appointments on the iPhone as needed. The camera doesn’t offer much in the way of options, but it does take decent pictures and the photo browser is superb. From what I’ve seen thus far, the battery will love you long time. Heavy web surfing over wi-fi will eventually send you running for your charger, but listening to music non-stop barely dents the meter.

The iPhone isn’t without its faults. For instance, I can’t figure out why Apple launched this sexy device without multimedia messaging, IM, Flash, or even a fucking to-do list (something a competent developer could code in about an hour). Equally puzzling is Apple’s decision to close the iPhone to third-party developers (although hacks are emerging by the minute). Plus, if you have any self-awareness whatsoever you will likely feel like a hipster douchebag for owning one. But when you actually start using the iPhone none of these flaws seem to matter so much anymore. Certain other road warrior devices may be crammed with more features but they’re also bulky and difficult to navigate. The iPhone just feels right, like a 21st century phone ought to feel. It is easily the most compelling handheld device I’ve ever used.

And the chicks? They dig it.

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