Posted by Lex Konrad in Opinions | Oct 26, 2008
Every word of the following is true:
1. Whenever possible, remain silent.
2. When asked about your past, give vague open-ended answers.
3. Have a great name.
4. Look fantastic in a suit, look fantastic in casual wear, look fantastic in anything, sound good, smell good, kiss good, strut around with supreme confidence, be uncannily successful at your job, blow people away anytime you say anything, take six hour lunches, disappear for weeks at a time, lie to everyone about everything, and drink and smoke constantly.
Sometimes the teevee forgets that it’s not art.
Posted by Lex Konrad in Snaps | Mar 31, 2007
Rubulad, 2007
Half way through taking a piss I remembered I’d brought my camera.
Posted by Lex Konrad in Dispatches | Mar 27, 2006
This building on 5th Avenue, which housed Ethan Hawke’s production office, was gutted by fire early yesterday morning. I used to work directly across the street. At the time, a tenant on the third floor often played gay porn on his big screen television and masturbated, completely nude, in full view of every office on the opposite side of the street. This might have been less scandalous if he’d 1) installed curtains and 2) kept his willie in his pants during normal business hours. As you might imagine, the onanist’s activities made for some, uh, interesting conversations when clients visited our offices.
The moral of the story? When you masturbate in front of an open window, God doesn’t just kill a kitten—he (eventually) burns down your entire goddamned apartment building.
Posted by Lex Konrad in Snaps | Jan 10, 2006
Seattle, 2005
