Love

Posted by Lex Konrad in Snaps | Jun 14, 2006

She’s curious

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The Surreal Life

Posted by Lex Konrad in Dispatches | Dec 01, 2005

The other night Les and I lay curled up on the couch watching a network drama. About halfway through the episode I spotted a familiar face but thought nothing of it because, well, I often see people who remind me of other people. The network flipped to commercials and my brain shut down again.

The show continued. When the camera cut back to that same face, this time a close-up, my tongue went dry and a surge of adrenaline shot through me. Waitaminute, I thought. I know her. I was certain, absolutely certain, the face I just saw belonged to Bianca, the delightful and lovely aspiring actress we had a fling with this time last year, the one who moved to LA to further her career.

It was yet another surreal moment in my increasingly surreal life. And it was a bloggy moment, one of those times when you say, “Holy crap! I gotta blog this.” At this point I was freaking out a little but I said nothing to Les on the chance that perhaps I was hallucinating and needed to up my meds.

Her face popped up on the screen again and I was doubly certain. I squeezed my girlfriend’s arm. “That’s fucking Bianca!”

“Huh? Really?”

“Yeah, I’m positive. I’d recognize that face anywhere—not to mention those sweater puppies.”

“Sweater puppies? Anyway, I wasn’t paying attention. What are you, in love with her now?”

“No, ass. But it totally was—”

“Shhh… I wanna hear how it ends.”

But for me the rest of the episode was a blur. I was kicking myself for not having fired up the recorder after the first sighting. Then I remembered we live in the 21st century and we’ve got the Internet now. After some finagling with bittorrent I had Bianca’s image freeze-framed on screen. “See?” I said to Les.

“Yeah. That’s definitely her.”

I’m not certain why Bianca’s appearance was oddly disturbing to me. Perhaps it’s just strange to play the peeping tom, to have a surreptitious look into the life of an ex-lover after she’s long gone. Perhaps it’s because there’s a certain poignancy to the memories of something that was cut short—I cannot help but feel I’m connected to everyone I’ve ever had an orgasm with, no matter how long it’s been and no matter what the circumstances were.

Or maybe it’s just that my surreal life, so long walled off from what I thought of as my real life, has overtaken me, and I barely remember who I was before I was Lex Konrad.

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